Poser Wars: The Rock Poser Menace

OK guys and gals, this is my second post and it marks the beginning of an anthology named Poser Wars. For those of our readers who have recognized the allegory kudos to you and furthermore I would like to say that in fact the subject I will present throughout the 6 episodes of Poser Wars is indeed of the same magnitude as that of the original 6 episodes of said allegory.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term "poser" I shall state a quick definition:

Poser - an individual, usually human, who must resort to habitually pretending they are something they are not in order to gain social acceptance or generally be accepted into a certain group of people who share the same behavioral patterns.

In other words a fake person. Well not like a blow up doll kind of fake person, more like a personality lacking human being. Think I am being a bit to harsh? We all need to belong to a group I hear you say? Well riddle me this my poser-sympathetic friend, why cant' we all just belong to groups where we don't have to pretend we are someone else instead of being ourselves? It would be nice to be ourselves for a change wouldn't it?

So my friends, that being said I would like to go into the first type of poser, and in my opinion, the most frequent type: The Rock/Metal Poser. First of all I would like to say that for matters of clarity I am excluding the so called goth/emo group from this debate due to the fact that anyone in said group under the age of 15 should just be considered confused and anyone over 15 in said group should just be considered a retard. Oh and by the way some manga cartoon characters called and said they want their hairstyles back.

Now, the rock/metal poser could have a rebel complex or could just be trying to impress that rock chick from school, it matters not, what matters is that he is pretending to be the ultimate representative of a musical culture he cannot begin to comprehend. Don't get me wrong, I love rock/metal music, I just don't think you should act like you are Metallica’s greatest groupie when your fan boy credentials comprise of having downloaded a couple of bootleg albums from the net, owning a Damage Inc. T-shirt, getting T-bagged while listening to "Nothing Else Matters" and receiving Guitar Hero: Metallica as a birthday present from your mom. I am sure some of you out there are now thinking "Dude it was a Christmas Present ok?!" but hey how about you admit to everyone that when you get home every evening you pop in that Spice girls CD (who I personally have nothing against and who rocked my world when I was 13) and you dance your heart out. I respect all musical tastes but it pisses me off that some people have to pretend they listen to some type of music just to fit in. How about you be honest for once and just say that you adore The Jonas Brothers, even though I consider that to be a sin punishable by death, whatever rocks your boat.

The point is no one should have to pretend they like something they don't. Just get your own personality for once God dammit. Be yourself. Remember what the Dire Straits said, "See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup. Yeah buddy that's his own hair", don't be that guy.

This is PeterParker your friendly neighborhood blogger signing off.