SLIGHTLY MISGUIDED ASPIRATIONS

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A really brief history of time

   The Big Bang is a theory about the creation of the Universe. The word theory does not imply that it's something Steven Spielberg thought of one lazy afternoon, but a collection of many ideas that scientists have been working on since ancient Greece... and while some things are still far from settled, it's generally considered a pretty awesome approximation of our Universe.

   The idea is that the Universe has expanded from a primordial hot and dense initial condition about 14 billion years ago. This cataclysmic expansion created all space, matter and time that we see in the universe today. A millionth of a second later (!), the universe was less dense and less hot, so the forces of nature become distinct (gravity, strong nuclear force, electromagnetism and weak nuclear force).

   One second later, elementary particles start to form (electrons, quarks, photons, etc.) and they smash together to produce protons and neutrons which come together to form hydrogen and helium... the simplest elements.

   Fast forward to 5 billion years ago, a small corner in our galaxy is filled with gas, dust and rocks which comes together by the force of gravity, getting increasingly hotter and denser until the pressure in the center is so extreme that hydrogen atoms fuse together, releasing huge amounts of energy and creating a star (our Sun). The dust and rocks that were further out eventually clump together with gravity and form planets.

   The earth finally cools and 3.8 billion years ago, microscopic life begins to evolve. For almost 3 billion years, all life is made up of single celled organisms, but suddenly multi-cellular structures appear that form complex organisms (algae, jelly fish, giant scorpion things etc).

   The first mammals evolve 200 million years ago, probably from reptiles... but they keep a pretty low profile until a 10km-wide asteroid (or comet) traveling at around 24000km/h slams into earth and kills all dinosaur species apart from birds. Mammals start evolving into a wide variety of families, like the primates, the family from which Homo Sapiens (yes you!) finally evolves around 600,000 years ago.

   Well.. squeezing 14 billion years of history in this blog article was fun. I would be glad to answer any questions you have, but if you have some time to spare I recommend watching Beyond the Big Bang, a documentary from the series The Universe, which not only explains the big bang model but also how great scientists built this theory piece by piece throughout the ages. It's a playlist on youtube so you can just autoplay all and chill!

World Understanding 101

   I was watching a documentary the other day (a phrase that sometimes makes my friends cry for help) about plants, from the series of BBC Life (really good btw)... and one segment showed a plant in a dense forest with little light reaching the ground, that could hook on other plants and climb so it can reach the canopy. While I had seen this before, it made me realize that if you observe this kind of behaviour in plants - organisms without a brain or any signs of intelligence, at least the kind you'd expect in their animal counterparts - then... how could you not expect this kind of behaviour in animals and ultimately... humans ? Could it be that intelligence is not some isolated property, but something that is situated in the world.. something that emerges out of complex systems ?

   These kind of thoughts go through my head sometimes, don't ask me why.. it might be some evolutionary trait to understand the world better and trust me, that's a good thing! Many people don't even bother these days. I think we should introduce that as a new science class in schools: "World Understanding 101". Teach the basics.. like, you know.. that our planet is 4.3 billion years old going around our sun which is a star, just like any other star out there, only different in size; or that all animals that have a spine are called vertebrates and they all evolved from a single fish species that lived 525 million years ago; or that Walter himself dabbled in pacifism once.. not in 'Nam of course.

   So I guess this is what I'll blog about, sciency stuff... and don't get me started on religion! Do you know those people that say "oh and don't get me started on {topic}" and even before you've had a chance to answer, they start talking about {topic}? Well I'm not one of them!

Poser Wars: The Rock Poser Menace

OK guys and gals, this is my second post and it marks the beginning of an anthology named Poser Wars. For those of our readers who have recognized the allegory kudos to you and furthermore I would like to say that in fact the subject I will present throughout the 6 episodes of Poser Wars is indeed of the same magnitude as that of the original 6 episodes of said allegory.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term "poser" I shall state a quick definition:

Poser - an individual, usually human, who must resort to habitually pretending they are something they are not in order to gain social acceptance or generally be accepted into a certain group of people who share the same behavioral patterns.

In other words a fake person. Well not like a blow up doll kind of fake person, more like a personality lacking human being. Think I am being a bit to harsh? We all need to belong to a group I hear you say? Well riddle me this my poser-sympathetic friend, why cant' we all just belong to groups where we don't have to pretend we are someone else instead of being ourselves? It would be nice to be ourselves for a change wouldn't it?

So my friends, that being said I would like to go into the first type of poser, and in my opinion, the most frequent type: The Rock/Metal Poser. First of all I would like to say that for matters of clarity I am excluding the so called goth/emo group from this debate due to the fact that anyone in said group under the age of 15 should just be considered confused and anyone over 15 in said group should just be considered a retard. Oh and by the way some manga cartoon characters called and said they want their hairstyles back.

Now, the rock/metal poser could have a rebel complex or could just be trying to impress that rock chick from school, it matters not, what matters is that he is pretending to be the ultimate representative of a musical culture he cannot begin to comprehend. Don't get me wrong, I love rock/metal music, I just don't think you should act like you are Metallica’s greatest groupie when your fan boy credentials comprise of having downloaded a couple of bootleg albums from the net, owning a Damage Inc. T-shirt, getting T-bagged while listening to "Nothing Else Matters" and receiving Guitar Hero: Metallica as a birthday present from your mom. I am sure some of you out there are now thinking "Dude it was a Christmas Present ok?!" but hey how about you admit to everyone that when you get home every evening you pop in that Spice girls CD (who I personally have nothing against and who rocked my world when I was 13) and you dance your heart out. I respect all musical tastes but it pisses me off that some people have to pretend they listen to some type of music just to fit in. How about you be honest for once and just say that you adore The Jonas Brothers, even though I consider that to be a sin punishable by death, whatever rocks your boat.

The point is no one should have to pretend they like something they don't. Just get your own personality for once God dammit. Be yourself. Remember what the Dire Straits said, "See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup. Yeah buddy that's his own hair", don't be that guy.

This is PeterParker your friendly neighborhood blogger signing off.

Fuck you whale!

To kick off, I don’t have anything against fat people. I don’t judge people based on their appearance. I judge people based on their actions. That’s what gets me. How people behave in any given situation. That being said, let’s assume that someone has made the huge mistake of inviting me to dinner, or lunch, or any event, really, that involves a group of people eating together and conversing at the same time. And here I am, all dressed up, cleaned up, and hopefully sober, at a fancy restaurant. I sit down, and start to talk with some of the people there. We joke and laugh, and cheer. We mirthfully jest and everybody is having fun. There’s a young woman on the table with me. And she is fucking huge. But hey, like I said, it’s all good. I don’t mind a rotund female, once in a while, just as a reminder of who is going to be giving me the time of the day, if I ever start playing World of Warcraft again. A little healthy motivation, if you will. I sense her spider tinkling sensation going all ape-shit as soon as the food approaches. But lo and behold she doesn’t grab that shit like her life depended on it. She slices her food as if she was performing lobotomy on an angel. She takes small bites, one after another, until almost half of it is gone. Then she stops. Says something about figure and restrain. I mean, come on. Who are you trying to fool here? The only figure you know is the figure of speech, ‘Stuffing your face’. And restrain? You need physical restrain not to eat a Big Mac, dowsed in arsenic. Why the hypocrisy and the self-denial? Be honest with who you truly are, flaws and all, and then you’ll realize what’s wrong and what needs fixing. We pretend so much, that we forget who we truly are. We rehearse our dialogues and we put on make-up. We cast friends and lovers, photograph our homes. And we wait for the Premiere of our lives. But it never comes. And we wait. Pretending.

First Cuts

Almost ten years ago, the world was gonna end. The end of the world as we know it. Apparently we don’t know shit. Nothing happened. Computers didn’t go all bananas on us, nobody came for a second coming. Nothing. Now the date changed to sometime in 2012. According to the Maya calendar there will be no more days after 2012. Just because a bunch of retards run out of numbers we’re suppose to give up and die? They keep perpetuating these doomsday scenarios to keep us in fear. Who are they? Does it matter? I fart in their general direction. There will always be a tomorrow. Then again, that’s what a slacker would say, right? By now you’re wondering, is there a point to all this? And the simple, god honest answer is No. Chronic abuse of alcohol, pot, and cat piss makes you wonder about pointless stuff, scrutinizing them with the most infantile approach ever conceivable. On the other hand though, you develop an acute sense for bullshit and the ability to see through the first layers of appearances. I don’t think I’m special, I know that everybody is special. Not special as in ‘special’, or in some politically correct terms, ‘differently able’ (able to fuck up the most trivial tasks, that is), but you know, really special. Every person is different and unique in his or her own traits. I’ve met some amazing individuals, which enriched my life with inspiration and love. Truly awe inspiring people that have affected me in one-way or another. But then again, I met some people that affected me as a brain tumor affects your neural system. These human slugs crawl their way into your life, just to poison your soul. The sad part is that the ratio of awesome/slug people I met in recent years is gradually decreasing, favoring the douche bags of our race. I can make a list with these human paraquats that would put Schindler to shame. These ‘Jar Jar Binks of my Star Wars’ tug on my life cord and make me wanna kill somebody. And then, well, I remember. I remember that it’s all a ride. That, eventually, we should always look at the bright side of Life. We just have to believe that Rorschach’s Journal gets discovered. That Tom didn’t drop the guns in the river. Because if we don’t, it just wouldn’t matter.

Putting A Bucket On Your Head

OK, first to get things straight this article is purely unrelated to this guy , even though I recently discovered that his music isn't half bad. This article is about people who put buckets on their heads. I know at this point the only person you can think of who you have seen wearing a bucket on their head lately was your 4 year old brother amusing you by repeatedly hitting walls and other such solid obstacles. But I am not referring to a bucket as a physical container being placed on your head, I am referring to the mental barriers we place around us everyday of our lives to avoid human contact and interaction.
At some point between Woodstock 69 and today your average person has lost the courage to express himself or herself honestly to others. The expression of ones emotions has become a sort of taboo that declares weakness and vulnerability. What has the world come to when you are too scared to tell someone that you love them, or even tell them that you hate them for that matter.
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying you should go around telling everybody that you love them, that would probably land you a "suspected for use of narcotics" charge. All I am asking is that you say it when you really mean it. Tell your parents what they mean to you, tell your friends that they mean the world to you, tell that one special guy or girl in your life that you can't imagine breathing without them.
I know most of this sounds cheesy at this point but let me put it into perspective for you. Recently a friend of mine died and it got me thinking. If I were to die now would I have told the people around me the things I had to say. Probably not. So ask yourself that question. Do you really want to live in hypocrisy, is rejection so scary, does it feel good to keep distancing yourself from everyone? And just because I know some douche will mention it, you don't have to express yourself in words. You could as easily show someone you care about them without saying a word.
The point is to take that stupid bucket off your head and say what you feel. Try telling a person you are in love with them, it has been tried and it feels good. Down with emotional insecurity. Down with the social oppression of the individual's feelings. Down with democracy... No , wait what? Sorry that's a different blog I write on.

This is PeterParker signing off, may the force be with you.